Around Zipie, we do a few things well. One of the most coveted titles we hold is that the office is packed full of foodies. Our qualifying experience includes: Rob stealing smells because he’s always on a diet, potato bell curves (see photo below) and Panera is building a new location downstairs because of our frequent deliveries. In our March Madness fast food bracket (yes, this is a thing), Steak ‘n Shake triumphed as our office pick for the best fast food chain (needless to say, I was pleased).
Even on our lunch break, we talk about lunch and what foods are better than others, including the Twizzlers versus Red Vines debate.
The company who began making Twizzlers opened their doors in 1845. Do you know what else happened in 1845? The Irish Potato Famine, Florida became the 27th state in the Union and The US Naval Academy had its first class of midshipmen. Those are all pretty old, so if you’re a history buff (like me), you like Twizzlers versus Red Vines, who began making their candy in 1952. Sorry Red Vines, you were a century late into the game.
Twizzlers: 1 — Red Vines: 0
We’re talking about candy here. Is anything truly healthy? But facts are facts, and Red Vines dominate Twizzlers in the healthiness category. Each Red Vine has 22 calories and each Twizzler has 40. That sounds like buy 1 get one 1 free! Not only do Twizzlers have more calories, but they have 4 times (!!!) the ingredients that Red Vines have, and I would be willing to bet you can pronounce Red Vines’ ingredients over Twizzlers’ any day of the week. Red Vines ties the game back up with the healthiness category.
Twizzlers: 1 — Red Vines: 1
Going into the third and most important category when we talk about food: the taste! We’re at a deadlock until we hit taste, and not beating around the confectionary bush here: have you ever had a Twizzler you didn’t like? Like, come on people, poor Red Vines didn’t stand a chance in the taste test because of the century it needed to catch up to the deliciousness of Twizzlers. We also did a blind taste test around the office and everyone except our newest team member picked Twizzlers over Red Vines, but we won’t judge her for that (looking at you, Rachel).
Twizzlers: 2 — Red Vines:1
WINNER = Twizzlers
Okay, lunch is ending, so I need to wrap this thing up. Twizzlers pulled out ahead and knocked out Red Vines. With the 100-year head start and ingredients you can’t pronounce, I never truly doubted it. Also, if I may, Red Vines’ win at the healthiness category may have just been a moral victory, because who really counts calories when you’re eating candy anyways? Not me, friend–not me!
Disclaimer: This blog was written for Zipie by Elijah, who was the ultimate decision-maker in this debate. Some of us are Red Vines lovers.